BIRMINGHAM, AL (WBRC) - So your child isn't a jock? And not into physical exercise? And more into Call of Duty than reporting for duty? I'm here to make your day! A new sport will be introduced this September that will fall under the umbrella of the Alabama High School Athletic Association. Are you ready? It's ESports! If you are not young and hip, let me translate: The AHSAA will soon introduce video gaming as their newest sport, and If I'm lyin' I'm dyin'.
AHSAA assistant director Marvin Chou says schools across our state will form teams of five gamers (schools can have as many teams as they'd like) who will sign onto their laptops and compete against teams from other schools. And get this: The competitors won't have to see one another as they will be in their team rooms at their respective schools. C'mon now - being required to actually see an opponent is so yesterday!
Oh, don't worry about your son or daughter as boredom will not be an issue. Several G-rated video games will be offered in three categories: Multi-player battles, action games, and sports games. This can be great news for you! For years you have tried to discourage your child from spending too much time on Xbox or PlayStation - now, all of those years of parental frustration can be erased as your kid could be the next BMOC - you know, the kid who took down mighty Hoover High in NBA 2K18!
Of course if your son or daughter signs up for one of these teams, you know it's coming: At some point, you will ask why he/she is playing so many video games on the laptop and your kid will say "C'mon mom, lay off - I'm in training." And your problem? You will have no reply, as not only do you know nothing about the latest games, for the last games you excelled at were Ms. Pac-Man and Super Mario.
I know, I know - you worry about your kid enough. Now this? Look at it this way: Your child will not be overdoing it - I mean, training will include sitting in front of a monitor eating Oreos and drinking a Mountain Dew. He puts on a few pounds? What's a little extra weight around the midsection when it's all about the wrist? Want more good news? The risk of injury to your child will be low, but if your kid does acquire carpal tunnel, I'm sure that doctors James Andrews and Lyle Cain can be contacted through the team trainer.
If you were not aware (c'mon, mom and dad), ESports and EGaming have become a worldwide phenomenon, with pro gamers making millions of dollars a year and worldwide viewing audiences reaching the tens of millions. So the lesson in all of this? Instead of discouraging your kid to stay off the video games, encourage him or her to practice as often as possible. Forget the math and the English assignments, I mean, who needs that stuff to succeed in life? Go ahead and turn your kid into a gaming stud, as before you know it, 247 Sports and Scout will be rating your kid a 5-star! Let the nerds study physics and biology - after all, your kid is going to be a worldwide star. Free college tuition could be waiting.
Still not buying in? For this I do not kid: Nearly twenty colleges and universities nationwide offer EGame scholarships. Want your kid to get a free ride to Cal-Irvine? You better get his fingers in gear. You want your kid to be recruited by the best EGaming colleges in America? Give him more time in front of his laptop even if he misses the family dinner.
It's time for you to be honest: Your child's future could be carved out this fall, so you may need to change your way of thinking. And besides, if you go the ESports route, it will be much easier for you to root on your child! Example: If your kid goes to Indian Springs School and the big meet with Altamont is about to take place, you don't have to worry about driving to the school, paying for parking, and lugging the folding chair out to the playing field. Just walk up to your child's bedroom with the entire family, grab some Golden Flake chips and some Cokes, and give your kid a big hand when he knocks off the opponent from that other school he never knew (Warning: This could be an emotional bonding moment).
Yes, ESports is coming to Alabama high schools this fall, and it could be huge. Now pass the Oreos, will ya?