BIRMINGHAM, AL (WBRC) - Have you been reading up on the big games to be held on Saturday? Read no more, as you are about to learn not only if the Tide and Tigers will win, but the exact scores in both games.
In the spirit of my all-time favorite late-night TV host Johnny Carson, here is what will go down on Saturday thanks to the all-seeing, all-knowing Karlac The Magnificent!
The Answer: Katydid
The Question: Who saw the Ole Miss Rebels upset Alabama the last time the teams met in Oxford?
It was a monumental moment for the Rebel nation in 2014 as Ole Miss, with singer Katy Perry on the sidelines, beat the Crimson Tide 23-17. Still, does anyone really think Nick Saban is going to lose a third straight game to any opponent?
It hasn't happened in the nine-plus years Saban has been in Tuscaloosa. So how does Karlac see this one going down?
This one will be all about the Alabama defense. Last weekend the Tide "D" held Western Kentucky to 23 yards rushing and turned in four sacks and two picks (OK, it was WKU, but I digress).
The Ole Miss offensive line has not been a thing of beauty, and while quarterback Chad Kelly can move those legs, the Bama secondary will be ready to turn in another fine performance.
The Crimson Tide's downright scary defensive line will run Kelly ragged, forcing him into errors in the passing game.
Kelly will throw two interceptions and fumble once (this time it will be the Reb's turnovers that become the story of the game).
And UA freshman quarterback Jalen Hurts? The Rebs are ready, as linebacker Rommel Mageo says, "You have to take their confidence away."
The problem for the Rebs? This Hurts kid is a smooth customer, and he has the ultra-smooth Lane Kiffin ready to call a great game following the a** chewing last weekend.
Hurts will pass for 279 yards against a leaky Ole Miss secondary. Remember, the Rebs allowed 419 passing yards and 59 rushing yards to FSU quarterback Deondre Francois a few weeks ago.
Guess what? That kid's a freshman. Jalen Hurts will be just fine.
The Crimson Tide will struggle with the ground game early, but Hurts' mobility will later open up lanes for the Tide running backs.
Damien Harris will score in the second quarter as the game will go to the half tied at 10.
In the third quarter, Hurts will find Calvin Ridley for a 22-yard TD strike, Eddie Jackson will have a pick-six, and the Tide defense will withstand an Ole Miss fourth quarter rally.
The Rebs in fact, down 24-20, will try an onside kick with less than a minute to play. The ball will squirt out of bounds and Bama will hold on.
The final: 24-20 Alabama
The Answer: The 12th Man
The question: Where does Gus Malzahn look after he's played 11 different running backs by season's end?
It seems that this Auburn-Texas A&M series usually favors the visiting team, and that spells bad news for the Tigers.
But the difference in this game will be the Auburn defensive line. Adams, Lawson, Davidson, Russell and friends will make Aggie's quarterback Trevor Knight miserable.
The Auburn offense? Was last week the real deal or was it the Arkansas State defense? How about a little bit of both?
Both Kerryon Johnson and Kamryn Pettway ran for over 100 yards, and Sean White showed his guts by hanging tough and connecting on big plays to receivers like Kyle Davis and Tony Stevens.
The Tigers may not reach 700 yards in offense like they they did last week, but if they can get that run game going against superb D-linemen like Myles Garrett and Daeshon Hall, they should be in great shape.
So here's how Karlac sees this one playing out:
Sean White leads the Tigers to a TD in the first drive of the game, a drive capped off by Kerryon Johnson lining up in the Wildcat and running to the right pylon for a 2-yard score with 11:27 remaining in the first quarter.
Trevor Knight will later run one in from 8 yards to tie the game at seven midway through the second quarter. But it's early in the 4th quarter when things will get interesting.
Trailing 17-7, Auburn's Johnathan Ford will pick off Knight and the Tigers will strike when White hits Stanton Truitt for a TD.
Daniel Carlson will then kick two field goals (37 and 43 yards) to give Auburn a 20-17 lead. And with less than two minutes remaining as the Aggies are driving, the Tiger's Carlton Davis will intercept Knight and then d rop the ball during the return.
Montravius Adams will be the man on the spot, pick up the football and rumble 60 yards for a score, all while receiving oxygen treatments from the trainers. Kevin Sumlin's seat will get hotter while Gus Malzahn's will cool off.
The final: 27-17 Auburn
So there you have it: The play-by-play and the final scores before the games are played.
And if all of this DOES unfold? I'll tell the wife that you will be taking us to Las Vegas next weekend. Have a great weekend and enjoy the games!