BIRMINGHAM, AL (WBRC) - The following is a commentary blog from FOX6 Sports Director Rick Karle:
Hope you had a great Mother's Day! I'm blessed to have a great mom who is truly one of the more colorful characters I have known.
Let's put it this way: Years ago when "The Golden Girls" was being filmed, she would have made for a great stand-in for Bea Arthur. Now 86 and living in Lady Lakes, Florida (doesn't everyone over 65 live in Lady Lakes, Florida?), my mother continues to fight the fight with a combination of great resolve and great spirit.
And now there is great news for you! Like her five children and extended family members, you too can learn from Diane Karle.
Regardless of your occupation or place in life, Diane's quips over the decades make for a manuscript of life advice. Who needs Tony Robbins or Stephen Covey when you have Diane Karle? So here we go with 25 of my mom's most memorable lines.
"Isn't it ironic how you start your life in diapers and then end your life in diapers?"
"You wanna know what it's like giving birth, Ricky? Try passing a bowling ball through your nostril."
"Did you know that Panera's serves clam chowder on Fridays?"
"Don't be a follower... if three of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you?"
"Don't chew gum in public, it makes you look cheap."
"Learn how to make hospital corners when making a bed."
"If you only knew how many ailments vinegar can fix."
"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it."
"Walmarts these days have turned into funny farms."
"Everyone should own a PDR." (Physician's Desk Reference)
"Why are my meds all mixed up? It's gotta be Obamacare."
"Have you checked your cholesterol lately?"
"Cut back on the wine."
"Just one little goodie won't hurt."
"Be nice to everyone, especially the underdog."
"Your father wouldn't have done that."
"Some of these old people shouldn't be driving."
"A calorie is a calorie is a calorie". (Don't worry, I have no clue either)
"Did you know you can get a senior's Diet Coke at McDonald's at the age of 55?"
"Velma ran over her dog Cheddar." (Guess the advice would be to watch the pets).
"That's the church I got kicked out of." (Now that's a long story.")
"What's with the Hillary pant suits?"
"Is Nick Saban as tough as these writers down here in Florida make him out to be?"
"Did you grow up in a barn?"
"Everything in moderation." (My favorite).
I've been around for well over five decades, and thanks in large part to my mother, it's been a great ride (I know my three sisters and my brother feel the same). And years down the road when we all leave this life? I can't wait to be re-united with my entire family, as I'm sure Mom will lead the way in only the way she can. I'll be prepared to laugh and learn from the queen of the one-liners.