BIRMINGHAM, AL (WBRC) - The following is a commentary blog from FOX6 Sports Director Rick Karle:
Getting a bit tired of TV reality shows? I don't blame you. But before you sign off on such programs, I have a heads up just for you. One of the craziest, wackiest, most entertaining shows is soon to be coming to a TV near you, because it simply has to be. America's true reality show is playing out on race tracks everywhere. You can call it "The Amazing Race", maybe "American Idle". Or, just call it "NASCAR 2015". Here we are one race into the 2015 Sprint Cup series and this sport has more story lines than "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". I'm here to you that if a Hollywood producer could get clearance to follow NASCAR this season, he'd have a major hit on his hands!
We begin our program with the new faces of NASCAR ("So You Think You Can Drive"): Due to driver injuries and suspensions, the Cup series is now sporting drivers such as Matt Crafton and Erik Jones. Throw in names like Landon Cassill, Cole Whitt and Michael Arnett, and NASCAR suddenly has more mystery athletes than the PGA Tour. Heck, Kevin Harvick's son Keelan ("The Apprentice") has more seat time most of these guys, and he doesn't turn three until this summer (don't worry, Denny Hamlin's daughter Taylor is waiting in the wings as well).
Another subplot for the new NASCAR reality show? The Kurt Busch-Patricia Driscoll saga ("The Deadliest Catch"). While it's high time NASCAR officials ("Big Brother") suspended Busch ("Chopped") after a protective order was issued (domestic violence is a serious issue that NASCAR has been behind on), the shear lunacy of the Busch-Driscoll story has to be included in the TV script. Busch claims his former girlfriend is indeed a trained assassin ("Mob Wives") who has travelled the globe as an undercover operative. It doesn't get crazier than this.
While for the time being the sport is without Kurt and Kyle ("Keeping Up With The Busch's"), the pending departure of Jeff Gordon keeps the show moving. A young man (appropriately named Chase) will soon take over the 24 car ("America's Got Talent"), while Jimmie Johnson ("Top Chef') will soon take Chase under his wings.
After a commercial break, our program returns with the ongoing feud between Danica Patrick ("The Biggest Loser") and Denny Hamlin ("The Bachelor"). The script for this segment is taken directly from after Daytona twin qualifying race number two, where Danica stormed toward Hamlin following her wreck. Her blood pressure spiking, he temper showing, Patrick briskly got into Hamlin's face and said, "I really like you Denny, we play golf together." You know, I don't think Donnie Allison said that to Cale Yarborough back in 1979.
Of course it is important that our NASCAR reality show attracts the young female demographic, and we have that angle easily covered. While the driver's better halves such as Amy Reimann and Jordan Fish watch after their men ("The Bachelorette"), others such as Delana Harvick and Samantha Busch ("The Real Housewives Of Mecklenburg County") look to outdraw one another on Twitter.
In the last quarter hour, our cameras capture Tony Stewart cooking up dinner at home ("Hell's Kitchen") with his beloved pet pig named Porkchop by his side. I don't know about you, but if I'm a pig, I don't want to be named Porkchop, and I certainly don't want to be near my owner who is cooking dinner.
Yes, the subplots are endless, from the cutthroat business world of NASCAR ("Shark Tank"), to the driver's lavish travel between races ("Project Runway"). As drivers change teams ("Extreme Makeover") and drivers hire new crew members ("Kahne Plus Eight"), we head toward the Chase ("Survivor"), and hear from NASCAR President Mike Helton ("The Voice"), who warns drivers to take care of stars such as Earnhardt "(Dale Dynasty") and Carl Edwards ("America's Next Top Model").
Like I always say, I can't make this stuff up. Why not give a NASCAR reality show the green light? TV ratings would rise, and the sport would be back to where the big-wigs want it to be. It would be a reality show that keeps on giving, from racetrack to racetrack, ten months a year. And just think how good this show could be in the months ahead, as Brad Keselowski is just itching to be written into the script.