Like you, I have a very demanding job. Oh, there's no heavy lifting involved, just long hours. I'm also like you as when we boil it down, we're all just trying to earn respect in the workplace, figuring out a way how we're going to pay for our kids' college tuition, staying healthy while dropping a few pounds, and making sure the pets actually do their business outside rather than on the living room rug. When you think about it, these are indeed small and insignificant matters compared to what might be a bigger problem: What if your significant other was a hired killer?
It seems the feud between NASCAR driver Kurt Busch and his ex-girlfriend has heated up faster than an 800 HP Camry engine on lap 188 at Talladega. You see Patricia Driscoll has filed for a no-contact order after she claims Busch roughed her up in a motor home, while Busch has done his best to discredit her while testifying in court. Kurt Busch claims (on the record) that Patricia Driscoll is a trained assassin who has been on missions to Central and South America. Busch adds that his ex-girlfriend told him she was a mercenary who killed numerous people and had shown him pictures of bodies riddled with bullets.
Like I always say, I don't make this stuff up, and Busch claims that neither has he. Says Busch, "Everybody on the outside can tell me I'm crazy, but I've lived on the inside and saw it firsthand." Busch recalled a time in Texas when Driscoll left in camouflage gear and later returned wearing a trench coat over an evening gown covered in blood. (A personal note: Soon after seeing the movie "Mr. & Mrs. Smith", I had a dream that Angelina Jolie visited me in an evening gown, but that's for another day). Busch stands by these claims, insisting that the female character in the film "Zero Dark Thirty" was created after her. And longtime Busch personal assistant Michael Doncheff? He claims that Driscoll told him she was a trained assassin for the U.S. government who once told him, "I take down foreign governments, I own Washington."
What's Driscoll's side of the story? "It's ludicrous", she says, telling the Associated Press, "I find it interesting that some of the outlandish claims come straight from a fictional movie script that I've been working on for eight years. These statements about being a trained assassin, a hired killer are without basis and are an attempt to destroy my credibility."
Wow- the most drama I ever had in breaking up with an old girlfriend was when I let her keep the desk lamp I bought her for Christmas (romantic gift? Yes). I mean, the hired killer theme? Come to think of it, this could be exactly what NASCAR needs as we SpeedWeeks approach: I've always said that NASCAR needs a little more WWE in it. How about the sport's big-wigs promoting their newest feud, labeling it "The Outlaw vs The Assassin?" Sounds better than "Jeff vs Brad". And what if Kurt Busch is telling the truth? What if Driscoll has been working as an assassin for all these years? Busch would certainly have the last laugh, and a 5-minute Tom Rinaldi piece would follow on ESPN. On the other hand, if Busch is fibbing? Does NASCAR really need a man in this mental state driving a race car at 200 miles an hour?
Back to my reality now. It's time to throw a load of clothes in the washer, feed the dogs and head to work. I'll read some scores on TV, then try to make time to have some quick dinner with my two great kids and small country lawyer wife before returning to work to anchor the late sportscasts. Oh, I'm not complaining about my great life, but in a way I'm envious of all of that Kurt Busch excitement. I'll tell you what: When we celebrate our 31st wedding anniversary this June, maybe we get Patricia Driscoll over to the house to join the party. Man, would we have some stories to tell. And, uh, Patricia? Could you leave the trench coat?
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