The following is a commentary blog from FOX6 Sports Director Rick Karle:
It's hard to believe we're already into the year 2015. In fact, I'm just glad to still be around in the year 2015! As we all hope for health and happiness, I thought I'd let you in on what great moments in sports are about to come our way. Mark it down my friend, as this is what we will be witnessing this year:
January: On Monday the 15th, Nick Saban will hold a news conference alongside Amari Cooper, Landon Collins and TJ Yeldon, who will all announce they are going pro. Meanwhile, the Patriots will defeat the Broncos and the Seahawks will defeat the Packers to set up a nice Super Bowl match-up come February 1st. The Patriots will win the Super Bowl, after which Tom Brady will announce his retirement.
Says Brady, "With the kind of money my wife is making, who needs this?" Tom and Gisele will never be heard from again as they retire to a country mansion in Napa Valley.
February: Dale Earnhardt, Jr will win his second straight Daytona 500. Weeks later word will leak out that Junior and his girlfriend Amy Reimann were secretly married in Las Vegas on March 7th, the day before the Sprint Cup race in Vegas. Says Earnhardt, "Look, it was a little white church and some guy named Elvis who performed the ceremony, but it saved us lots of money and not a soul recognized us."
March: The Philadelphia Sixers fall to 5-70 at the end of the month, and while rumors swirl that the team is leaving the NBA for the ACC, a savior comes to the rescue. Charles Barkley becomes the General Manager of the team, taking over the operations of the club for which he once played. Says Barkley, "These knuckleheads are turrible... it's going to take hard work to turn it around. My only regret in taking the job? I may have to work more than one day a week."
April: Jordan Spieth will win the Masters at Augusta National, while Tiger Woods will miss only his 2nd Masters cut in twenty appearances. Following his second round on Friday, he will tell the media, "I gave it my best, and I appreciate the fans being behind me." Woods will then be escorted from the premises by the authorities for failing to use the word "patrons".
May: The Kentucky Derby will go to the wire with American Pharoah edging El Kabeir by a length. In his first high profile comeback event, Lance Armstrong will finish third.
June: The Atlanta Braves will be mathematically eliminated from the National League's eastern division race. Says GM John Hart, "I knew we made some questionable moves in the off-season, but don't worry, I've got calls into Smoltzy, Mad Dog and Tommy."
July: Danica Patrick will win the Coke Zero 400 at Daytona. Three months later she will announce that her family will soon grow, as she is expecting. Names have been chosen, says Danica: If it's a girl, she and Ricky will name the baby Lynn (Ricky's middle name), and if it's a boy the baby will be named Richard, in honor of Danica's good friend and role model Richard Petty.
August: The 2015 pre-season college football polls are released, with Ohio State checking in at number one, Alabama number two and Auburn number eight. Asked at his pre-season news conference about the rankings, Nick Saban says, "Why are you asking me? You media people are the experts." Meanwhile, Auburn's Gus Malzahn tells the media for the 22nd time that he is not going to the NFL.
September: NBC's first Sunday night NFL game features Marcus Mariota and the Tampa Bay Bucs facing Jameis Winston and the Tennessee Titans. Meanwhile, Peyton Manning will announce that the 2015 season will be his last, as he has accepted an offer to become the permanent host of Saturday Night Live.
October: Nick Saban will hold a news conference on Halloween night (his 64th birthday) to announce that the 2016 season will be his last at Alabama. Crimson Tide fans will run into the streets causing chaos. Twitter will break, local news stations will interrupt programming for non-stop coverage, and ESPN's Tom Rinaldi will move into the Saban house simply to make continuous Iive coverage more feasible.
The SEC Network will send Paul Finebaum to the Kiffin house while Joe Tessitore reports from the Smart house. The news will be so big that local weather TV guys will only have time for their 7-day planning forecasts.
November: The Auburn Tigers will win the Iron Bowl 34-28 on the last play of the game. Jeremy Johnson will find Ricardo Louis down the middle of the field, as Louis hauls in the football that first bounces off a Bama defensive back. Says Louis after the game, "I can get used to plays like that." Still, the Tide heads to the SEC championship game with 2 SEC losses as once again SEC western division teams eat their own.
December: TCU's Trevone Boykin will win the Heisman trophy with Dak Prescott of Miss State finishing second and Nick Chubb of Georgia third. The Final Four playoff teams will be Alabama, Ohio State, TCU and Michigan State. The Buckeyes will win it all, making up for a championship game loss to Oregon nearly a year earlier. Urban Meyer will then become the nation's first college coach to make $10 million a year. Meanwhile, college athletes will continue to scrounge for a few bucks to see a movie.
Will it all come true? Ya never know. Hope you have a great 2015, and remember to stay in touch!
Copyright 2015 WBRC. All rights reserved.